If you’ve been following me on my Facebook page (feel free to friend request me) over the past couple of months, then you already know that my wife Christine and I are once again trying to have a baby. Longtime readers will recall our failed December 2007 attempt to have a child of our own through in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and we have been exploring our other options for building a family ever since. However, still feeling the financial and emotional sting of that $17,000 bill from the IVF cycle over the past few years, we’ve been skeptical about what we should do next.
With Christine turning 39 in November, our time to do something to try to get her pregnant was running out. Plus, the traditional adoption method is arduous both domestically and international–there’s so much bureaucratic red tape, financial obligations upwards of $40,000, about a two-year waiting period, a heavy emotional commitment to the process, criminal background checks, and other logistical nightmares involved. Plus, there’s no guarantee of a baby at the end of the whole ordeal. That’s one of the primary reasons why we decided to go with an embryo adoption instead.
Because of my poor sperm quality and Christine’s poor egg quality, it is virtually impossible for us to biologically have kids of our own. We’ve come to terms with this reality and accept it for what it is. Nevertheless, it never ceases to amaze me how incredibly insensitive some people can be telling us to “just relax” or “stop trying and you’ll have a surprise happen” as if those things were somehow comforting to us after 16 years of trying to make it happen naturally. I know people mean well, but until you’ve experienced the emotional and spiritual pain of infertility firsthand you cannot possibly know how empty it can feel when you so desperately want to have a child to love, nurture, and call your own. As Christians, we both feel strongly that everything works together for a purpose and a plan that only God knows and orchestrates. And perhaps our desire to have a baby isn’t a part of His plan for us. We’re already preparing ourselves for that possibility even as we are going through this embryo adoption process.
In January 2011, Christine’s sister approached us and said she wanted to help us try once again to have a baby. She agreed to pay the $7500 in expenses involved with an embryo adoption if we wanted to give it another go. We were incredibly grateful for her generosity and love for us to be willing to help us with our longing to have children. Christine and I of course enthusiastically accepted this opportunity to try again to have a baby. I asked Christine if she was willing to go through all of those shots in her body again and she immediately shot back, “Absolutely!” That’s why I intensely love this woman so much. She’s a real warrior and I cannot think of a more selfless act than to be willing to endure all that kind of pain in the hopes of making me a father.
When we visited the local reproductive endocrinologist who did our IVF cycle just over three years ago, they said they’d have several profiles for us to look at and choose from within a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks came and went and then another couple of weeks and still no word. Christine started getting antsy and called them to ask if they would send us a profile to consider–and we finally got one. It looked fantastic after seeing the information about the donor mother and father and we were ready to roll! When we contacted the office to let them know we’d like to accept this donor, they told us some FDA rule disallowed us from choosing that one. HUH?! We were perplexed and dismayed, but tried to be understanding of what would be the first of many bumps in the road in this journey. A couple of weeks later in late February, they showed us another donor profile but we didn’t like it at all–we had way too many questions about the health of the donors.
It was nearly two months later before we were finally shown a profile that we felt like we could accept. The donor couple was extremely fertile and regularly provided donations to this particular clinic to help infertile couples like us who have had trouble conceiving. The nurse informed us that every couple that used embryos from these donors got pregnant. That’s pretty good incentive to give ‘em a go and see what happens. So we proceeded forward to the next steps in the process. The actual beginning of this embryo adoption began way back on March 31, 2011 and it’s been on rocky ride leading up to our transfer date coming this Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 3:30pm EST. We began documenting all that was happening to us through this embryo adoption on video and posting them to YouTube:
DAY 1–March 31, 2011–Starting the medications
http://youtu.be/qg4OEtjW0sc
DAY 4–April 3, 2011–Side effects from taking the Lupron shots
http://youtu.be/VfDPCZFxqX4
DAY 7–April 6, 2011–Follow-up ultrasound at the doctor’s office
http://youtu.be/kYnOg7_OSDc
DAY 8–April 7, 2011–Problems with her estrogen being “too high”
http://youtu.be/9LZChha_yUw
DAY 15–April 14, 2011–Estrogen fixed, transfer date changed
http://youtu.be/nCjLbRI_Dfg
DAY 30–April 29, 2011–An ovarian cyst delays the process yet again
http://youtu.be/A3eJk2gjD9g
DAY 64–June 2, 2011–After long delay, ready to begin the cycle again
http://youtu.be/sIeuvDpyr0E
DAY 72–June 10, 2011–The lining was “fluffy” and all is progressing
http://youtu.be/gfQxdTRrNAI
DAY 78–June 16, 2011–Our last doctor visit hurdle before the transfer
http://youtu.be/qaRtGZ38biI
DAY 79–June 17, 2011–Starting that “loooong” Progesterone needle
http://youtu.be/xbBrE5C5JdY
The end is almost here with one more doctor appointment on Tuesday, June 21, 2011 at 8:00am EST to draw blood one more time and then the transfer will take place on Wednesday afternoon. They will implant two embryos, so it’s possible we could have multiples. Or, we may end up with none. The final verdict whether this actually worked to make Christine pregnant won’t be known until she goes back to the reproductive endocrinologist on Tuesday, July 5, 2011 for a pregnancy blood test. That day will be a turning point in our lives regardless of what happens. If you are the kind of person who believes in the power of prayer, then we ask you to pray for God’s Will to be done in this situation. Obviously, we strongly hope it happens and we’re willing to wait a couple more weeks to see if our miracle happens–we’ve waited nearly 16 years, so what’s another two weeks?!
THANK YOU for all the love and support so many of you have shown us as we’ve pursued this dream for a very long time. That kid (or perhaps those kids) will have quite the story to tell someday about how their mommy and daddy wanted them so much that they were willing to go through some extraordinary measures to give them life. If you have been blessed to have children in your life, let me encourage you to never forget the blessing that they are to you (yes, even when they’re acting ornery). Some of us would love to have all the ups, downs and in betweens of being parents and perhaps soon we will.
Keep updated on the progress of our embryo adoption on my Facebook page.
